sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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