so that wasnt chicken after all
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
