I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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