This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
