This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
