The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
