Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
