i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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