I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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