i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
