this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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