he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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