Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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