I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
