Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
