gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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