You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
