I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
