Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize