i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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