That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
