how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
