I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
