Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
