He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
