cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Farmville is her only friend.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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