i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
