im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
