Christians are straight up FREAKS
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
