She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
