I am puke
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
