Apparently you make a good broom.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
accomplished twins. life is a go
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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