Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I need water and some morals
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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