Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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