If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
