Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
