i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
