I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
