So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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