it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
