just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I deserve this hangover.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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