i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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