What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
