What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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