i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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