i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
