Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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