that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
