Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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