You can't motorboat a personality
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
