its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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