i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
