Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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