I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
