he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
