I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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