Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
