But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
how drunk are you?
Several
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
